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MY PARENTS WALTZED EVERY MORNING AFTER HEARING THE NEWS // HAYAT

.
Ten years ago when we were told to 
hide if we want to keep ourselves and there might be a rocket
huddling our houses to the sky at any time,

My father took us to the beach and we watched
rockets tiptoe beyond the horizon and
clapped when the sirens and the waves
composed a symphony for us.

.
When my grandmother was prisoned for 
praying against something they didn’t see holiness in
she recorded a video which my mother watched while
eating peaches and passing her fingers through my hair.

.
My parents came from places where 
wars visited them too often.
So they never liked the police and
they bought as many flowers to place in their apartment 
so that their sudden death, if it happens, 
might look beautiful.

.
When my mother died I 
wore a pink shirt and hurried to tell my father.
My father smiled at me and we 
in that split second and among all the mourning
celebrated that little fact. 

.
My parents exhaled tenderness so
repeatedly in our palms that 
love and war don’t cancel each other when
both come at the doorstep.

POSTCARD #1

Sabah el nour,

We just arrived and everything is alright, alhamdullilah.
We had tea with the family, the beach is beautiful and the people are nice and welcoming.
I hope everything is going just fine back home, we miss you. 

Salam.

****

About Mohini's Postcards - This project is one of the most important of my artworks, as it was deeply rooted in the identity part of my work. The " 10 POSTCARDS" project is a fictive exchange between two lovers who are separated for a certain amount of time, because of a specific event that I purposely didnt develop - it could be anything, whether holidays in the homeland or something else. I chose to mix languages to give off a feeling of constant motion, having to move from one place to another without having the time to adapt to any. These postcards follow a person's trip with their families, who learns more about themselves while they're away from their country of adoption. While losing sight of familiar faces, they get in touch with people that resemble them, making them calmer and more organised in their thoughts. I wanted to express the feeling I've always felt of not belonging anywhere because I was too mixed, but simultaneously belonging everywhere, reconnecting with your/my-self through languages, in countries that are completely new to you/me yet being from there. The here, and there, and who, and (re)connection with the self, the death of "otherness" allowing us to erase the ego.

MEMOIRS OF POSSIBILITY // SHAHAD

Dear diary,

The air smelled heavy with tea, musk, and hope. 

I followed the echoes of laughter as they led me to the patio. The sun was shying away from the horizon, and the clouds responded by cracking themselves open to reveal some pink and orange streaks of light that clashed with the clouds’ blue­-white demeanor. It was almost magical, I thought. The sunsets never color the sky like this anywhere else. 

I sat down, across from strangers. I mean, they were practically family, but I had only been around them for a few weeks. They spoke in hurried sentences, and blurs of hand motions. Sometimes, I tried to reach out and grab a word or two from under their lips, so I could decipher them later. But, whenever I pulled the words out of my pockets at night, they came out withered and empty. It's almost like they're wired to the souls of these people. 

Such a shame, I would have loved to take some of their language away with me, when it was time to leave. 

They didn't notice me, of course. These humans never do, but I sat there anyways. Looking for something out of the ordinary to capture with my pen. There was the mother I had been following around. She was wrapped in her usual array of colors streamed onto a long cloth they call thobe, which complemented the bundle of stories she carried under her half smile. Her long fingers, crinkled and soft, were wrapped around a white teacup that marked the coming of the afternoon in all of the houses of this country. I don't know what the milky brown liquid in it tastes like, but to me it smells a lot like ritual. Which is comforting. I have always liked ritual, she is a loyal friend. 

Then there were the others. They were quite odd puzzle pieces, but then again, this country is full to its brim with extraordinary pictures. This house had a little girl who wore her hair in two braids. Her name was Mona, she was fresh with enthusiasm. I figure she's quite young, you know, because it shines brightest around her. But then again, you can never trust enthusiasm to tell you anything about age. These humans are unpredictable. Most of them dim down their enthusiasm as they grow older, but in my lifetime I've seen quite the number of outliers, I can tell you that! Anyways, Mona was sitting by the young man. I don't know what his name is, but they call him Jidu. I know that is code for grandfather in their language, but he had no withered skin, nor did wisdom come to visit him as often as it does all the other grandfathers I've seen. How strange. 

Across from Jidu, on the other bed that took up half the length of the patio, sat the father. He sipped his tea while he flipped through pages of the world. I think they call it a jareeda. I suppose I've told you about it before, it's that fold of pages with pictures and words on it. The humans like to read it in the morning so that they can, later, talk about the things that happen on the other sides of the sea. Many of them put a lot of faith in it and believe what it tells them with very little reluctance, but not this father. He wears skepticism under his seeing windows. I've grown to like him, he's clever, I just wish he would lift this heavy veil he places between him and myself. He would be interested to learn of my adventures abroad. I could teach him a few things about change.

There was a knock on the door, and Jidu went to open it. Hails and greetings filled the air as a few of the father's friends walked onto the patio. The mother rose and walked into the house to bring some more white teacups from the kitchen. The knocks on the doors surprise me as an odd gesture, because no one really leaves their door closed around this time of the day. Everyone is expecting a visit at any time, although they never really know it’s coming. It remains a mystery to me, but then again, many things about this country do. 

The afternoon dragged on, and I was asked to leave the father and his friends' gathering because politics was coming. Politics wasn't a bad guy you know, but our chemistry usually doesn't allow us to co­exist, at least not here. That's just how it is. So I followed Jidu around for a change. He was standing under a tree, whispering into a little box. 

“I’m alright Alhamdulillah , I just miss you. Yeah he’s here, but I don't think they'll discuss any of the formalities today. My father is reluctant, but I told him it was secure enough... but... I know, but... I’m looking for one in Qatar, or the UAE... I don't know if I want to tear you away from... It isn't easy you know... You're all the family I want, but every home needs some ornaments too.” 

He sighed, and then began to talk about his day. His laughter was broken whenever it escaped his lips. I wondered who he was speaking to, although I figured it was a girl because these phone calls always made him wear that face. It was hard to describe what it looked like, but whenever I saw a boy wear it his heart declared its existence more loudly, and his nerves intertwined into butterflies and fell into his stomach. It was interesting to watch. 

Anyways, that’s almost everything noteworthy I remember about that day. The musk wore off, the tea was sipped dry, but hope lingered on to the air. Something was coming.